Advertisements

Becoming a parent, one of the hardest but most rewarding jobs you’ll ever be blessed to have. At age 19, I was rushed into emergency surgery to remove a large tumor, an ovary and a tube. The ovary they left, was also problematic and still is to this day. After surgery I was told that me conceiving would be very difficult and maybe even impossible, but I conceived naturally five times with six babies and birthed four.

First time parent. You don’t know shit, let’s just be honest. I called my first child my trial and error kid. I don’t care how much advice mama gave you, grandma gave you, how many kids you babysat, how many classes you took or how many books you read, nothing can fully prepare you for the real thing. Parenting an actual human is much different from the flour sack you parented with your classmate in school.

How much unsolicited advice did you receive while pregnant? Or after you gave birth. Everyone wants to tell you the “best way” according to them. I haven’t met a parent yet that perfectly describes every single person’s experience. Don’t get me wrong, advice is good, but a big part of this journey is learn as you go.

So many judging parents out there. When I had my first child I knew I was going to nurse her. I believed breast is best, I still do, but I’m also realistic knowing that it doesn’t work for everyone. I was a super producer. I breastfed my daughter for two years. After year one I was constantly asked when I was going to stop. “You know if she can ask for it, she’s too old” “You need to train that girl on a bottle”. Mind you, I was a stay-at-home mom with no need for a sitter. This was a commitment I made and I was comfortable with my decision. Who was an outsider to tell me how I should do it? Or judge me on my decision? I really pissed everyone off when I breastfed my second child almost three years.

“Let that baby cry” “Put that baby down, you hold them too much” “You’re spoiling that baby” You know the saying, “what you eat don’t make me shit”? The same way that one parent parenting how they choose in their house in no way affects what you’re doing.

Vaccinate, don’t vaccinate. I have seen full fledged arguments and some of the heaviest criticism surrounding this topic. I chose to vaccinate and I don’t regret it, but I also know those who chose not to and I respect it! We don’t have to agree, but it’s not my place to criticize another individual’s decision because it differs from my own.

“Just because I parent different from you doesn’t make what I’m doing wrong.” ~ Jaz

I’ve been judged and criticized on how I choose to love my children. I was told that I overcompensated. Sounds absurd right?It actually made me second guess what I was doing, but I was quickly brought back to reality. I am NOT a perfect parent but I love hard. I tell them everyday that I love them. I show them. Now, I can admit that my NO muscle in the past has been weak, BUT, today it’s a lot stronger. I hug my children. I kiss my children. I let them know how proud I am of them. I encourage them daily. I’m their biggest hype person.

I noticed that the individuals criticizing how I loved my children didn’t have the kind of relationship with their parents that I had with my own children. As humans sometimes we project due to what we lack and what we secretly desire. I myself didn’t experience the level of love from my parents that I express for my children. I also understand that I was loved from the capacity in which they could give. When I had children of my own, I made the conscious decision to change the pattern.

Today, be mindful of your words when you see parents doing it “different”. Always remember that there is more than one way to parent a child and doing what works for you, and the child/children is always best.

Until next time…🦋

Advertisements

4 Comments

  • Markus J. says:

    Love the post, hope you are well

  • Khy Ye says:

    “As humans sometimes we project due to what we lack and what we secretly desire.”, I felt that so much. I am in my early 20’s and have two children and can relate to this post in so many ways from the nursing to people judging me for how I choose to raise mine. I feel like people give an opinion because they feel like they can, but I’ve always told people I can’t figure out how to be a parent if you’re going to give me advice the whole way. THESE ARE MY CHILDREN AND I WILL RAISE THEM THE WAY I WANT TO. And people have no choice but to respect that now. I LOVE THIS POST.

    • Thank you! Keep raising those babies how you want! There are no books that can prepare you for your real life experience parenting! My kids are now 19, 17, 14 & 13 and girl I’m still figuring some things out!

Leave a Reply

Instagram

  • Affordable Look Of The Day! Dressing the basic tee day 2. This is your classic white tee paired with blue denim and a simple blazer to dress it up a bit! T-Shirt details in stories.
Outfit Deets:
Blazer: @forever21 (purchased years ago)
T-Shirt: @asos $6.50
Jeans: @target $19.99
Head wrap: @charlotterusse $5
Grand Total: $31.49
💫
#talkingallthatjaz #fashionblogger #affordablefashion #lotd #ootd #ootdfashion #basicfashion #fashion
  • Affordable Look Of The Day! This week’s theme, dressing the basic tee. This black tee paired with the houndstooth skirt is a perfect look for the office! Details in stories!
Outfit Deets:
T-Shirt: @asos $8
Skirt: @hm $34
Shoes: @justfabonline 
Grand Total: $42
💫
#talkingallthatjaz #fashion #affordablefashion #lotd #ootd #ootdfashion #bargainshopper #naturalhairstyles
  • This Week On The Blog/Vlog! Are you subscribed to my Blog and my YouTube channel? If you aren’t, you should be! There is something for everyone! All links in bio 🔗
💫
#talkingallthatjaz #thisweekontheblog #writersofinstagram #blackgirlswhoblog #melaninbloggers #blackmomsblog #influencer #lifestyleblogger #creatingcontent #fashion #youtube #blackyoutuber
  • Affordable Look Of The Day! Need an idea for those basic sweatpants? Look no further! I’m calling this look “50 shades of pink”. Oh @prettylittlething don’t you need an ambassador? Slide in my DM’s. Details in stories!
Outfit Deets:
Blazer: @prettylittlething $21
Sweats: @prettylittlething $21
Bodysuit: @forever21 $1.05
Shoes: @forever21 $24.90
Grand Total: $67.95
💫
#talkingallthatjaz #fashion #fashionblogger #affordablefashion #affordablelooks #lotd #ootd #ootdfashion #blackgirlsinfashion #prettylittlething
  • Affordable Look Of The Day! I’m calling this look “Corporate Sexy. Now clearly this isn’t office appropriate, but it’s cute 💁🏽‍♀️! Let’s address the obvious, the length of these pants. I’m 5’2” on a good day and these pants are way long. With 5” heels they’d be fine though. Check my stories for details!
Outfit Deets:
Mesh Top: @forever21 $12.90
Slacks: @asos $14
Earrings: @forever21 $3.90
Grand Total: $30.80
💫
#talkingallthatjaz #corporatefashion #fashion #affordablefashion #affordablelooks #fashionblogger #lotd #blackgirlswhoblog #melaninbloggers
  • Affordable Look Of The Day! This is the top from my last lotd, and it’s a dress! I love affordable multi-purpose items of clothing.
Outfit Deets:
Dress: @forever21 $19.90
Fanny Pack: @forever21 $14.90
Shoes: @adidasoriginals 
Grand Total: $34.80
💫
#talkingallthatjaz #fashion #fashionblogger #blackgirlswhoblog #melaninbloggers #lotd #affordablefashion #lifestyleblogger #4chair #naturalhair #naturalhairstyles

Follow Me!

Copyright © IPkabuto 2017 • All rights reserved.
%d bloggers like this: