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How many times have you opted NOT to speak your mind in order to save face? We’ve all done it at one point in our lives. Some of us will even go as far as suffering in silence rather than “make waves”.

I have always been very outspoken. Even very small, but I didn’t always speak my mind. There is definitely a difference. Let me explain how I define speaking your mind. Saying what you mean, and meaning what you say free of fear and worry of how it will be perceived.

Too often speaking your mind is negatively associated with “talking too much” or “having an attitude”. This is especially true when it comes to black women. We are already perceived as loud and angry.

Speaking your mind is freeing. Speaking your mind is therapeutic. When you choose not to, you do yourself a disservice. Very early on I learned to be selective when speaking my mind.

How many of you have dealt with a situation you didn’t like, but chose not to speak up because it was a family member or close friend and you didn’t want to hurt their feelings? Or have you ever had a disagreement with your spouse or significant other and chose not to fully speak your mind to avoid an argument? Well I’ll speak for myself, I have. Here is what I’ve discovered. I NEVER feel good afterwards.

So many reasons why people don’t speak their minds, but here are a few:

• Fear

• Protecting someone else’s feelings

It took me a very long time to learn how to speak my mind. I’m still a work in progress. There are still times before I speak that I think about exactly how will I be viewed or who will what I say hurt someone. Then I go back to my first priority, me, and I think of how will it make me feel and affect me later if I don’t.

My advice, speak your mind free of fear. One of my favorite quotes, “speak your truth, even if your voice shakes”.

Until next time…🦋

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