338 days in the books and 27 to go! 2018 has flown by, but it’s been one hell of a ride! This year for me, has been absolutely amazing. Not free of disappointment or setbacks, but the victories outweighed the bs.
January 3, 2018 I posted my very first blog of the year. After two false starts, this time felt different. While I was still dealing with anxiety and depression I had grown to a point that I pushed my way through the negativity. I was no longer thrown off course by perceived setbacks or discouraging epithets. I was posting consistently! Not many folks were reading them, but I was consistent with something for the first time in my life!
Then I had the nerve to start a YouTube channel! Apparently I was feeling real confident. Writing I liked, but talking I loved! I started a family channel a long time ago, posted a video and didn’t post again. On September 30th I posted my very first video!
Valuable lessons and Discoveries of 2018…
I found my voice and discovered that I too could say no. Simply put, I stopped doing shit I hated. I also learned that being unapologetically honest even when I was afraid equaled growth and freedom. This was also huge in how I dealt with ex-husband and my daughter’s father.
Self-love is NOT self-ish. I’ve always been told that I didn’t know what to do with alone time. Admittedly, yes this was 100% true. I was a parent. My truth was, I lost myself and my sense of self when I became a mother at 20. It was what I knew. I now know that I can’t pour from an empty cup. I learned that it’s okay for me to take a few hours for myself. Buy myself something nice from time to time (I may or may not be abusing this one – insert from girlfriend “You are!”). It’s okay if I book myself a massage. It’s okay if I go on a date to a nice restaurant and not take my children.
My purpose. Whew! Who knew? Since 6 I knew I wanted to be an anesthesiologist, and when that didn’t work, I decided on becoming a nurse. Well…uh Chemistry and I have a hate/HATE relationship. I now know that this blog/Vlog is my purpose . Helping women, moms, parents, people suffering from depression and anxiety is just a touch of what I’m meant to do and I’m doing it.
I deserve a seat at the table. Self doubt is one of the greatest forms of self sabotage. Comparing yourself to others. Watching what someone else is doing and losing focus of your own purpose. I have mastered the art of minding my damn business. For a long time I didn’t think I belonged at the table because I was too new. Because I didn’t feel I was making an impact. My lack of higher education. But look here, I now know that not only do I deserve a seat at the table, I also deserve every great thing that comes my way.
I am a writer. Yes, I can confidently say that I am a writer. I wouldn’t have uttered those words a year ago but now, I’m almost an author.
I am over the moon excited about what 2019 will bring. In fact, I’m excited about the last 27 days of 2018. I’m expecting something great! I’ve made my request known and I’m doing the work. I know it’s only a matter of time before another shift happens.
As you reflect on 2018 thus far, what stands out for you? Are you ready for what 2019 has in store? Share some of your 2018 highlights.
Until next time…💛