It was April of 2018 when I made the call to the Child Support Office. I spoke with a case worker and I asked how to close an open case. She then asked me to verify all of my information and to confirm that I was indeed the custodial parent. After reviewing my case she said to me, “you want to close your case? You do know that there’s still a large balance?” I told her yes and reassured her that I was aware of the balance and that I still wanted it closed. She then told me that she never had anyone call in to cancel a case with a balance like mine. She again reiterated how shocked she was. I completed what I needed to, but it would be several months before it was finalized.
Child support, such a touchy topic. I’ve seen people file for child support as a way to “get back” at the other parent. I’ve seen individuals use it for everything other than the child. It actually took years to file. There were a couple of reasons why. When I got pregnant with my daughter, I knew her father wasn’t ready for a baby but I wanted her. So the guilty piece of me felt like I shouldn’t ask, like I didn’t deserve it because of my selfishness.
After divorcing my then husband and becoming a single parent, I decided to file. It took years before I started receiving consistent payments. I didn’t question it because quite honestly, I was grateful for anything. Those payments took care of school clothes, basketball and her sneaker fetish. It also bought her first car at 16. It paid for braces. I used it for what it was intended for.
My daughter turned 18 in October of 2017 but the payments continued because of back pay. I in no felt like I was owed anything. I was still giving my daughter money. Paying for gas, outings with friends, whatever she needed.
There comes a point in your life when you just feel things in your gut. I knew it was time to end my order. The back payments on my current order were preventing my daughter’s father from things he needed and wanted to do. There was also no longer a need. A healthy relationship with his daughter was and will always more valuable than a monthly payment. That, can’t be bought.
I ended my child support order because I wanted to.
Until next time…💛