Realistic Parenting

I’ve been labeled the friend parent, the way too lenient parent, the overly laxed parent, and at times, the bad parent. My oldest child is 18 and my youngest is 12. No one could have prepared me for the challenges that came with parenting.

I am definitely more of a new age parent. I’m not into whoopings, never have been. I didn’t see the point. Growing up I always heard, “if you don’t whoop them, the streets will.” I didn’t want that to be our truth so I chose different. I was apart of the whoop that ass generation. I was hit in the mouth for talking smart (often 😂), and I was beat with a belt. Who knows what came with the whoopings? “I whoop you because I love you.” Umm you do? Well I definitely don’t feel it.

I try to parent from a place of compassion and understanding. Don’t get it twisted, I’m not naive nor stupid but I believe that what you focus on will persist. I see so many parents that are ego driven. Newsflash people: Kids aren’t perfect, I repeat, kids aren’t perfect! Newsflash #2, parents aren’t perfect, I repeat, parents aren’t perfect. Number one reason why I don’t understand why parents don’t understand when children mess up or make mistakes.

Your children may do things that are hard to believe. It will make you question everything you thought you knew. I’ve experienced it 😩. One thing I’ve learned. Sometimes the consequences of a bad decision don’t even require your discipline! Why? Because the experience is enough.

There are days that my children don’t listen. They test my last nerve. They fuss and they fight and I expect it because that’s realistic. They have attitudes, they cry, and they act like brats. They are at times lazy, more often than not. But there is a flip side! They’re loving and generous. They’re forgiving. They see their faults, it may be days later, but they see them. They know the importance of thank you and I’m sorry. They are amazing students. They protect each other. Those are the things I choose to focus on.

In moments when they mess up, I give them and myself time to step back and evaluate the situation. I’ve found that going in immediately often leads to angry reactions and words that can’t be taken back. Parenting is child specific. Each child requires a different level of parenting, personal experience.

This blog is for me. Lately I’ve been questioning how good of a parent I actually am. I needed to put my feelings into words to validate that I’m doing a good job. I needed to remind myself that I’m not perfect and neither are they. We’re still learning and some days are going to be harder than others. Today parents, I want to let you know you’re doing a great job and I salute you!

Until next time…❤️


4 thoughts on “Realistic Parenting

  1. anonymous says:

    No parents perfect but everyone has there own example of what a perfect parent is. I would say by my definition your a close definition to perfect. I remember years growing up around this women my mom was involved with romantically that as a teenager I didn’t really care for so much but as a women I learned to love. By my definition she was what I considered a bomb mom and shaped who I am as a mother today. Even in the years I didn’t care for her I still admired her for the mother she was.

  2. Unknown says:

    I must say that I found your blog quite refreshing. I myself grew up in the era of whoop first ask questions later and yes, was also told I was whooped because they loved me. Interesting indeed. We are raising a new breed of children in a new society of rules. I admire your motherly views of discipline however I am a firm believer in the word of God that says if you spare the rod you spoil the child. Now that rod does not always mean a whooping with a belt or my hand. It simply means a rod of correction. Sometimes my kid needs a good whooping, but other times, he just needs to be corrected and made to know what’s right and what was wrong with his actions.

    Continue to be the best mother you know how to be and I commend you for a job well done simply by your train of thought. Thanks for the blog.

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