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Why do I always get the stinky stall? I swear, it never fails, I always enter a restroom at the height of the stink! Then I stand there trying to quickly decide just how bad I have to go, and I’ll tell you, after four children the wait is never long. Time for a quick round of inky pinky donkey to determine which stall to enter, and lucky me, I always seems to choose ground zero, the scene of the shitty crime (no pun intended).

So I run in, squat, and begin to pee, only to realize it’s a long one. The kind of pee you have after a long night of drinking, so I’ve heard. The kind of pee Tom Hanks had in A League of their Own, or the kind of pee you have after a 20 week ultrasound. I’m peeing and whispering, “please no one come in please no one come in”, and what do I hear…someone enters the bathroom (insert dramatic music here). I think to myself, well I’ll be damned!

Now I feel obligated to announce to the person who just entered the bathroom that the smell doesn’t belong to me. That I just went #1. I feel it necessary to let them know that I wasn’t the one with the rotting insides or the unwashed outsides. Now I exit the stall looking awkward trying to find a way to start a conversation and prove to them that it wasn’t me!

A few tips for my fellow bathroom mates. Always carry your own personal spray. I personally love Bath & Body Works Black Cherry Merlot room spray. One quick spray before, during, and after usually gets the job done. If it’s an issue of  bubble guts, you need something that packs more of a punch, you can add Poo-Pourri which can be found at your local Bed Bath & Beyond. You’re welcome!

Until Next Time….♥

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