Tasty Thursday #13

Dessert dessert dessert! Chocolate chip 🍪! Found the recipe on Splenda.com. Nom nom nom get in my belllllyyyyy. Have you ever had your mind set on making something, know without a shadow of a doubt you have everything you need, only to realize you’re missing two key ingredients.

This is when you kindly ask your driving teens to go to the store to get what you’re missing completely ignoring the fact that it’s almost 9PM on a school night…and when they respectfully decline, you hit em with a guilt trip, reminding them how you brought them into the world and that Christmas is less than 2 weeks away…(Singing Michael Jackson’s “they don’t really care about us” me )

So what do you do? You do the next best thing, substitute using what you do have and pray for the best. What was I missing? Salt and brown sugar. Let me correct that, I had no table salt, I did have sea salt though. Close enough. I had no brown sugar, but I had white sugar. Hell, they both sweet. Used them and made up the dough ⇣⇣⇣

It was soooo pretty guys, but I’ve been fooled before and because I didn’t have the exact ingredients, I kept my expectations low. I spooned it up, placed it on parchment paper, and in the oven they went ⇣⇣⇣

I baked them for 13 minutes at 375 because I like crispy edges. They were beautiful ⇣⇣⇣

The real question though…did they taste good? Yessssssss they were absolutely delicious! I was so happy I may have shed one single tear.

Late night before bed sweet treat! Pictures of the recipe below!

Note: I substituted the 1/4 tsp of salt with 1/8 tsp sea salt and instead of the 1 cup of Splenda brown sugar blend and I used 1/2 cup of the Splenda Naturals. Enjoy!

Until next time…💛

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Top 3 Pet Peeves

1. Don’t lie to me. Nothing irks me more than being lied to. It’s so easy to tell the truth. Lying takes a lot of energy. When my children were small, I would tell them that telling the truth would keep them out of trouble. I meant that, and I stuck to it. Now let’s talk about why people lie. Here are a few reasons I’ve encountered…

Fear

Fantasy or make believe

From my experience. Lying destroys trust. It can ruin relationships and friendships. Now, I’d be lying to you if I said I wasn’t guilty of telling a lie or two in my lifetime, but I make it my purpose today to always tell the truth, even when it hurts.

2. Chronic complaining. Lawd, just thinking about the individual that complains like it’s a full time job exhausts me. We all know that one person that complains about everything. I’ve always tried my best not to complain. Complaining never changes a situation, if we’re being honest, it allows whatever you’re complaining about to consume you. You become a slave to the complaints. I especially hate individuals who create problems then complain about them. I’ve ended friendships over this one.

3. Dirty bathrooms. Public and residential, but particularly ones in people’s homes. Growing up my mama always said, pay attention to the person that keeps a dirty bathroom and a dirty kitchen 👀. Call me what you want but a dirty bathroom gives me the heebie jeebies. Have you ever gone to someone’s house, asked to use the restroom, go in, look down at the toilet and notice that little area behind the toilet seat where it attaches to the base and it’s covered in piss stains and that one random pubic hair. Or the base of the toilet where it meets the floor and on either side there’s yellow spots…(Fact: after reading this, the next time y’all use someone else’s toilet I bet you look at those two areas 😩😂). As a mom of three teenage boys I know how dirty a bathroom can get! How when you walk in you can be hit with the smell of piss and musty balls. I also know lazy privileged children (mine). I get it which is why I make it a point to clean it often.

Now that I’ve shared my pet peeves, what are some of yours? What makes you tick? Please share in the comments.

Until next time…💛

Why does what I wear bother you?

Stumbled on an article on Ebony.com about a curvy professor who received backlash about her tight jeans and heels. I’ll post the link below for you to read.

https://www.ebony.com/college-professor-inappropriate-clothing/news/curvy-

After I read the article I knew I had to weigh in.

Let me just say that humans can be really annoying and I can relate. I’ve been slim thick my entire life. I stand about 5’2.5” (yes I claim my .5) and I’m 135 lbs mostly ass and hips. My butt is large and attracts lots of attention from both men and women.

This made me selective when it came to choosing clothes. Not too tight. Not too form fitting. Not because I don’t enjoy wearing them but quite honestly, the reactions and comments I get are annoying. Things I hear…

“Is your butt real?”

“Girl your booty looks like it’s in 3-D”

“You thicka’ den peanut butta”

“It ain’t your beauty, it’s your booty”

Newsflash folks, that ish ain’t cute! I’ve even had someone I work with smack my ass and say “ooh girl I need one of those”. I almost slap that b#%^@ in the face. Fact, this was a white woman and more often than not, they’re the most infatuated; speaking from my experience. Between my ass and my hair I’m like a rare species they’ve never encountered and must learn more about.

Truth serum, I should not be responsible for one’s lack of maturity, obsession or sexualization of my curvaceous body in certain clothing! It doesn’t matter if I’m wearing a maxi dress (shout out to Devale & Khadeen Ellis and his maxi dress song), biker shorts, sweats or jeans it’s not going to change my shape. I’m still gonna be thick!

Let me address the church and its folk before I end this!

“Now you know you too shapely for that”

“That’s not appropriate for church”

“Girl you go have the pastor lookin’”

It didn’t matter if I was fully covered or if my skirt/dress was below my knees. What mattered is how I looked in the clothing or how someone else viewed me in it. I couldn’t help how I was shaped! It was mess just like that which made me an insecure teen and young adult that hated my body.

I chose more loose fitting clothing because of asinine comments from ignorant individuals made to me and the ones made to the professor. Because of mom’s who felt like my shape was too distracting for their sons. Or insecure wives who had spouses with wondering eyes 👀.

Now I’m 39 and things are different. I no longer give any f*^%# about what people think. I love my curvy body and my big booty!

Listen to me when I say, I will NOT and I repeat, will NOT choose my clothing based on the insecurities or judgement of others. I will continue to choose what’s comfortable, cute, and makes me feel pretty (even if it hugs me tightly).

Shout out to the Professor Ms. Nerissa Reaves. I salute you queen! I salute your confidence and boldness in choosing you and what makes you look and feel good. From one curvy girl to another.

Until next time…💛

2018 Reflection

338 days in the books and 27 to go! 2018 has flown by, but it’s been one hell of a ride! This year for me, has been absolutely amazing. Not free of disappointment or setbacks, but the victories outweighed the bs.

January 3, 2018 I posted my very first blog of the year. After two false starts, this time felt different. While I was still dealing with anxiety and depression I had grown to a point that I pushed my way through the negativity. I was no longer thrown off course by perceived setbacks or discouraging epithets. I was posting consistently! Not many folks were reading them, but I was consistent with something for the first time in my life!

Then I had the nerve to start a YouTube channel! Apparently I was feeling real confident. Writing I liked, but talking I loved! I started a family channel a long time ago, posted a video and didn’t post again. On September 30th I posted my very first video!

Valuable lessons and Discoveries of 2018…

I found my voice and discovered that I too could say no. Simply put, I stopped doing shit I hated. I also learned that being unapologetically honest even when I was afraid equaled growth and freedom. This was also huge in how I dealt with ex-husband and my daughter’s father.

Self-love is NOT self-ish. I’ve always been told that I didn’t know what to do with alone time. Admittedly, yes this was 100% true. I was a parent. My truth was, I lost myself and my sense of self when I became a mother at 20. It was what I knew. I now know that I can’t pour from an empty cup. I learned that it’s okay for me to take a few hours for myself. Buy myself something nice from time to time (I may or may not be abusing this one – insert from girlfriend “You are!”). It’s okay if I book myself a massage. It’s okay if I go on a date to a nice restaurant and not take my children.

My purpose. Whew! Who knew? Since 6 I knew I wanted to be an anesthesiologist, and when that didn’t work, I decided on becoming a nurse. Well…uh Chemistry and I have a hate/HATE relationship. I now know that this blog/Vlog is my purpose . Helping women, moms, parents, people suffering from depression and anxiety is just a touch of what I’m meant to do and I’m doing it.

I deserve a seat at the table. Self doubt is one of the greatest forms of self sabotage. Comparing yourself to others. Watching what someone else is doing and losing focus of your own purpose. I have mastered the art of minding my damn business. For a long time I didn’t think I belonged at the table because I was too new. Because I didn’t feel I was making an impact. My lack of higher education. But look here, I now know that not only do I deserve a seat at the table, I also deserve every great thing that comes my way.

I am a writer. Yes, I can confidently say that I am a writer. I wouldn’t have uttered those words a year ago but now, I’m almost an author.

I am over the moon excited about what 2019 will bring. In fact, I’m excited about the last 27 days of 2018. I’m expecting something great! I’ve made my request known and I’m doing the work. I know it’s only a matter of time before another shift happens.

As you reflect on 2018 thus far, what stands out for you? Are you ready for what 2019 has in store? Share some of your 2018 highlights.

Until next time…💛

Tasty Thursday # 12

It’s Tasty Thursday and it’s cold, rainy, and I’m under the weather so tonight I made something hot and hearty!

Now this is not the chicken and dumplings I grew up on but I thought, why not? Pulled out my tried and true dented slow cooker and got to work. I won’t bore you with the details of the recipe so I’ll include the link here https://www.spendwithpennies.com/crock-pot-chicken-and-dumplings/.

Growing up chicken and dumplings was a big pot of deliciousness. My father always used chin legs (skin on), gizzards and sometimes chicken feet to scare us. And you can’t forget the butter, yes butter! He would use biscuit dough rolled out super thin and it would soak up all of that delicious broth.

Now this recipe is definitely not what I was used to. To me it was more like pot pie filling 🤷🏽‍♀️, but it was simple, super easy to follow and pretty tasty! It received mixed reviews in my house. Two of my kids opted for something different, but tonight my mood is

(Photo Cred: Google)

If you’re looking for an easy “chicken and dumpling” recipe, this is a good one!

Until next time…💛

My Top 5 Favorite Movies

#5

National Lampoons Christmas Vacation! You can’t deny how hilariously funny this classic is. From the aunt putting cat food in the jello mold to the carving of the ever so dry turkey. It’s a must watch during the holiday season.

#4

Crooklyn. From the way the film was shot to the diversity. Watching this film I experienced so many emotions. I laughed and I cried. This movie made me wish I’d grown up in Brooklyn. If you hear the song, “1 2 3 the devils after me. 4 5 6 he’s always throwing sticks. 7 8 9 he misses every time. Hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah amen” you know exactly where it’s from and can’t help but join in singing.

#3

Coming To America. “The royal penis is clean your highness”. “Sexual chocolate!” “Just let your soul glow”. So many sayings from this movie that are still used today. I think just about everyone is familiar with this film. Still one of my all time faves.

#2

Malcolm X. Whew, where do I begin? I just watched this film yesterday. Denzel Washington embodies the character of Malcolm X so well that I thought I was watching him! Not to mention that I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for the Nation of Islam. I have an interesting story about this that I’ll share in a future vlog.

#1

(Drumroll please) 📣 THE COLOR PURPLE! I could watch this movie every single day. I remember when this movie made its debut in the 80’s. I was 9 when I snuck and read the book. Now, at 9 I had no business reading this book, but I couldn’t stop reading once it started. I can easily recite every line from this movie. Back in the day I watched the VHS tape so much that it broke. This is another film that can be recognized by some of the now famous sayings. “You told Harpo to beat me” “All my life I had to fight” “I heard she got that nasty women’s disease” “You sholl is ugly ha ha ha” This too will forever be a classic.

What are some of your favorite films? I’m not a huge tv watcher which is probably why my movie list consists of old films, but in my opinion they should be added to your must watch list if you haven’t seen them.

Until next time…💛

Why I ended My Child Support Order

It was April of 2018 when I made the call to the Child Support Office. I spoke with a case worker and I asked how to close an open case. She then asked me to verify all of my information and to confirm that I was indeed the custodial parent. After reviewing my case she said to me, “you want to close your case? You do know that there’s still a large balance?” I told her yes and reassured her that I was aware of the balance and that I still wanted it closed. She then told me that she never had anyone call in to cancel a case with a balance like mine. She again reiterated how shocked she was. I completed what I needed to, but it would be several months before it was finalized.

Child support, such a touchy topic. I’ve seen people file for child support as a way to “get back” at the other parent. I’ve seen individuals use it for everything other than the child. It actually took years to file. There were a couple of reasons why. When I got pregnant with my daughter, I knew her father wasn’t ready for a baby but I wanted her. So the guilty piece of me felt like I shouldn’t ask, like I didn’t deserve it because of my selfishness.

After divorcing my then husband and becoming a single parent, I decided to file. It took years before I started receiving consistent payments. I didn’t question it because quite honestly, I was grateful for anything. Those payments took care of school clothes, basketball and her sneaker fetish. It also bought her first car at 16. It paid for braces. I used it for what it was intended for.

My daughter turned 18 in October of 2017 but the payments continued because of back pay. I in no felt like I was owed anything. I was still giving my daughter money. Paying for gas, outings with friends, whatever she needed.

There comes a point in your life when you just feel things in your gut. I knew it was time to end my order. The back payments on my current order were preventing my daughter’s father from things he needed and wanted to do. There was also no longer a need. A healthy relationship with his daughter was and will always more valuable than a monthly payment. That, can’t be bought.

I ended my child support order because I wanted to.

Until next time…💛

Tasty Thursday #11

Some people dream about new cars or winning the lottery, and some of us dream about food. Saturday night/morning about 3 AM I woke up from a dream, and in that dream I made a breakfast casserole aka frittata.

In my dream I was making breakfast for my family, which I usually do on the weekends. I’m not a huge fan of breakfast food though, I’d much rather have leftover meatloaf and mashed potatoes. If I’m eating breakfast, I’m definitely eating savory.

I have a very particular household. Sunday morning everyone woke up wanting something different, and lucky for them, the cooking spirit was upon me. I made 4 different meals.

My girlfriend fried up some bacon and sausage and I made everything else.

Breakfast 1: Papa’s toast which I made in a previous Tasty Thursday. Here’s the link https://talkingallthatjaz.net/2018/08/30/tasty-thursday-6/ It’s a weird, yet delicious combination of american cheese toast, topped with boil egg, crumbled bacon, and sweet pickles. Yeah yeah yeah I know how it sounds, just try it.

Breakfast 2: Grilled cheese with french bread and Swiss cheese with boiled eggs on the side.

Breakfast 3: Nutella stuffed pancakes with strawberries and scrambled eggs.

Breakfast 4: The pièce de résistance, the breakfast casserole or frittata that came to me in my dream. Here’s what you’ll need:

Ingredients

6 large cage free eggs

1/4 cup of half and half

1 cup of shredded cheddar and Colby blend cheese

1 tsp of dry minced onion

1 tsp pepper

1/2 tsp sea salt

1/2 tsp paprika

1/2 tsp garlic powder

4 frozen hash brown squares

Directions

• Preheat oven to required cooking directions for frozen hash brown squares. Mine was 425 degrees. I cooked the hash browns for 10 minutes, half the suggested time which was 20 minutes since they’d cook further during the baking process. Once done, turn oven temp to 350 degrees, then break hash browns up into pieces and place in the bottom of a 9 inch glass dish (which is what I used) or a cast iron skillet. I sprayed my glass dish with Pam cooking spray.

• While the temperature of the oven is going down, crack 6 large eggs into a bowl, add half in half and whisk until blended

• Add in the rest of the ingredients and stir

• Pour into prepared pan with hash browns and bake in the stove uncovered at 350 degrees for about 45 minutes to an hour. I baked until a knife inserted came out clean and it was firm.

Remove from stove, let cool slightly, cut and enjoy! I topped mine with delicious sirracha! Simple, affordable, and delicious! Makes a great brunch dish.

Until next time…💛

Can I vent?

Can I vent? As a mother of 4 black teenagers, 3 boys and 1 girl, I’m afraid. I’m afraid that when they walk out the door, they may not return! I pray for them every night and every morning before they go to school because they aren’t safe there either! I make sure to have “the talk” before they leave with friends. What talk you ask? The talk about what to do and not do if approached by a police officer because whether they comply or not, they could be killed. I’m sick and tired of having to have that talk! Our children are being hunted and slaughtered like animals by those who were sworn to protect them! Stay vigilant folks!

Signed,

A Scared Black Mama